When a person makes Jesus Christ, the Pearl of great value his choice and comes to Him in absolute and unconditional surrender, he enters into the centre of God’s perfect will for him.  To continue in that perfect will, a person has to continue to seek the will of the Lord and obey it. Absolute surrender to Jesus as Lord at the very beginning of the Christian life is only the beginning of a process that must be lived day by day, hour by hour, and minute by minute.

To the surrendered person, we say that the first thing to do is to find out what God’s perfect will for him/her is.  It could be that His will for you is that you serve Him as a single person.  If that is the case, He will give you the power to do it with joy and, therefore, you should give no further thought to marriage.  What it means is that from the very foundation of the world, God saw that you could best serve Him and be fulfilled yourself by being single.  He, therefore, did not create a helper fit for you.  He is your helper fit. Can you then imagine the tragedy that would be yours if you got married to someone?  The marriage would surely fail, not because you are a bad person or the partner is bad.  It would fail because God did not ordain it.  It was not His perfect will.  It would never fully satisfy you.  Even if you were fully satisfied, God’s eternal purpose for you would be thwarted, and what a shame!  Can you imagine the children who are born from such a marriage?  They are children born outside God’s perfect will.  They were not meant to exist.  If such children do not believe in the Lord Jesus and as a result go to hell, then by refusing to obey the Lord or by failing to discern His will, you have brought forth someone who will suffer forever and ever.  Imagine the genealogy of such children – the genealogy of people who, in God’s perfect will were never meant to exist.  This is a most serious matter, and you should think about it seriously.  Do not rush.  Think.  Even if you want to forget about the progeny from such a marriage, think of your own misery.  You will wake up one day to find that you have made a mistake and you will have on your hands someone whom you will never be able to get rid of.  Your union with that person would be like being tied to a corpse for life.  You may inject formalin into the corpse. It will, however, always end up decaying.  You may apply all kinds of perfumes, but the odour of the corpse will be there to follow you all your life.  So we say emphatically that there is nothing whatsoever to be gained from a marriage that God never intended to take place.

If, on the other hand, the Lord shows you that His perfect will for you includes marriage, then you have the serious responsibility of finding out whom your perfect life partner is.  It is obvious that God, taking into consideration everything about you, has made a partner for you who is His perfect life partner for you.  Yes, the partner is there, made by the Lord and known by Him, and she is for you.  Choosing a perfect life partner is searching for and discovering that person whom God has searched for, discovered and set aside for you.  God has already gone through the difficult job of searching, discovering, and choosing the perfect life partner for you.  His special one for you is available.  She has been specially prepared for you, so that, like a rib taken out of you, she will fit perfectly at all levels – spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, sexually, etc. She has been so well chosen that she will satisfy your varying needs with passing years and changing circumstances.  You do not have to ask God to make her. She has already been made so that in each other you will find perfect fulfilment.

Although she is there and known by the Lord, you do not know her.  You have to search for her, find her and choose her.  You may say, “Why does God not just make things easy for me by simply bringing her to me, so that I do not go through the difficult process of searching for her, finding her, and choosing her?”  Well, the answer is that God is training you for rulership with Jesus.  Part of the training is that He allows you to do things for yourself.

If He just dictates things to you, you will never be ripe for the throne.  God also wants you as His co-worker, a co-worker who accepts and carries out responsibilities.  So the process of choosing your perfect partner is part of God’s training programme for you.

You may say, “That is alright, provided He ensures that I do not make a mistake.”  Well, He will not ensure that you do not make a mistake.  He will not ensure that you choose rightly.  You must make sure that you choose rightly by choosing what He has chosen.  He is treating you as an adult.  Must He not?  One thing, however, is sure:  If you are totally obedient and apply yourself well, you will find the one He has in store for you.